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Oct. 24th, 2007

The truest and most sincere lyrics in the world (not to mention the best)

"Can anyone tell me why
the things that are meant to stay
they turn and go?

Can anyone tell me why
we lust after the things
we'll never know?

I'll just have to let it go..."

The Clarks - Let It Go

Oct. 23rd, 2007

The Politics of Donkey Kong

A few days ago I joined a facebook group called "1,000,000 Strong for Stephen T Colbert," a campaign group for Colbert's bid for presidency in South Carolina (unrealistic, no doubt). I was browsing through the pictures, many of them random and having nothing to do with Colbert, when I came across a picture of the Twin Towers being destroyed - except there were a bunch of pixelated video game characters all over the picture, including Donkey Kong. Obviously enough, the picture was a joke, meant to suggest the humorous notion of Donkey Kong & Co. destroying the Twin Towers. Well, as you can surely imagine, a storm of protest erupted in the form of posts underneath the picture ranging from conservative rants of "NEVER FORGET" to liberal rants of.. oddly enough, "NEVER FORGET." I will very readily admit that I laughed. I found it humorous. I don't know why. Yet reading all of the ridiculous comments about the stupid picture made me wonder why the concept of "getting over" an event like 9/11 makes people think one is unpatriotic or inhuman? Just because someone is able to look past something horrendous like those attacks does not mean that person has not "forgotten" the event in any way or doesn't appreciate its impact to society, humanity, history, whatever. I fully respect those who lost someone on that day, just as much as I respect those who died or lost loved ones in the Holocaust, the Rwandan genocide, or in the Cambodian killing fields. But my questions are, one, what makes people think that humor is not an acceptable means of dealing with an issue/event/crisis, and two, what makes the attack against America so much more important than any other terrorist attack or humanitarian crisis that it warrants never being "forgotten?" Three thousand people died that day, but a sixth of the Cambodian population died in three years in the 1970s, and six MILLION people died in the Holocaust, from multiple nations and states. And look at that.. something else that confuses me.. even I myself called it the "attack against America." The paper I am researching for now answers the question "discuss the adoption by Japan of 'human security' as a key consideration in its foreign policy." The issue of human security is something that has come about because the concept of "security" itself has changed - that is to say, threats to world security are no longer only considered within the context of state v state, and ideas like borders, government patrol, and state security are being completely screwed up by the advent of new threats that transcend those ideas (like terrorism, international disaster, poverty, AIDS, child soldiering........it goes on).

So how the hell does this connect with the Donkey Kong picture? Well, my questions that I had raised above are questions a lot of rationally-thinking people are asking (not meaning to call myself rational, just saying I share the view with them). That is, since things like terrorism can no longer be considered national issues, seeing as they transcend borders, how is it that something like September 11th is considered an "attack against America?" There is, of course, the obvious fact that many people will mention that those responsible for the attacks had an agenda adhering specifically to the goal of attacking America. It's all very confusing but very interesting.

How do you think you'd react to the Donkey Kong picture? Would you be horrified and disgusted? Would you laugh? Would you complain about the poor photoshop job? There are a lot of pictures out there (notoriously made by people like SomethingAwful goons or 4chan freaks) that we admit are horrible in concept but yet we still laugh at, like one I am thinking of that shows a picture of Holocaust victims. Is humor really an acceptable way to deal with atrocities?

Oct. 22nd, 2007

(no subject)

Okay, so it's been another couple of months or years or whatever and once again I am brought back to stupid online journals. I'll be honest, I keep them more for contacts with other people than anything else, seeing as my mental ramblings are so incessantly pathetic that I prefer to confine them to the pages of a real journal, especially one with pretty blue cats on it.

Anyway, I am so excited that I have been able to keep in touch with so many people that I have met, either online, or in elementary school, or in passing randomly... that's why, no matter how much people complain about the creepy nature of places like myspace and facebook, I really do appreciate them.

So I found out that my grandparents are going to sell Camp. Camp, for those of you caught unawares of its awesomeness, is quite possibly the only place in my entire life I have ever felt truly safe and happy. It's like your parents dying.. you just don't expect them to ever be gone because they've been there all your life. Camp has been there all my life and now, suddenly, it will be gone. This is the most depressed and saddened that I have ever felt in my life, and believe me, my cat journal is taking a beating. It is really as if someone I love has died.

Ian tells me to get over it and having the memories of the place should be enough. I know he's right (he always is) but I WANT MY CAMP AND DAMMIT I WANT IT NOW.

Anyway, back to the purpose of the post. So Sensei, the director of the Japanese program at George Mason, is allowing me to jump into Japanese 331 (offered only in spring) though I haven't taken 330. I can skip 330 if I perform well on the interview in January and my work (which will be in portfolio format) is satisfactory. I am SO EXCITED. Honestly, as I told Ian yesterday, Japanese language is like a love affair with me. I can't get enough of it.

So, in preparation for when my textbooks arrive (I forgot them at home like a good idiot), I am finishing up the kanji portion of the course. Here are all the kanji I've done so far. Some are really easy and major repeats for me, and a few are completely new. If you can't read them, sorry. Go download the Japanese language pack for windows. It's free and all the cool people do it.

日、月、木、山、川、田、人、口、車、門、火、水、金、土、子、女、学、生、先、私、一、二、三、四、五、六、七、八、九、十、百、千、万、円、年、上、下、中、大、小、本、半、力、分、何、明、休、体、好、男、林、森、間、畑、岩、目、耳、手、足、雨、竹、米、貝、石、糸、行、来、帰、食、飲、見、

there's more but I'm too lazy to post them. I hate the language bar grrr.

Aug. 21st, 2007

I don't care what you say, self hatred is a GOOD thing

More for the sake of keeping updated with other livejournals (like Dette's) than for actually recording my thoughts, I have decided to return after seven months or so. I'll try to keep this updated as I attend Oxford, but if you want pictures, go to facebook.

Jan. 27th, 2007

news

Something big in this small, worthless world of mine: my family got a kitty!




His name is Franzy. I have yet to meet him, but isn't he beautiful?

At first I thought, the last thing my poor and piggish family needs is another god damn animal. Then I thought, this animal needs a home, and I think they can give him a good one. So I donated the one thing I donate to all our animals: his name. Franz, for Kafka.

Jan. 16th, 2007

She's Right

My mother always says that it will always snow on my birthday.

So far it's 20 - 0 to her. She has been right all 20 years so far. Not once has it been a clear and sunny day on my birthday. In fact, more times than not we've had blizzards.

I am the god of snow. Not really, but that'd be cool.

Anyway, I changed my theme to this site, so tell me what you think.

Jan. 13th, 2007

My Prolonged Absence

Since the advent of my so called "new years resolution" I have decided to dedicate more time to updating my sites, including this one. I find it the best way to communicate with friends and practice writing. Writing.. always writing. I better get used to it if I want to write an entire book by my Senior year. Here are the topics I have thought about so far:

Buddhism and its incompatibility with Western thought

East vs West religious thought and how it affects politics and diplomacy

China: posterboy for economics, but humanitarian criminal (what sacrifices CAN be made to make a country rich?) ethics based

Hey it'd be great if whoever's out there reading this votes for what they think would be the most interesting. I know the first two are kind of the same but the second one is a bit more broad.

So what have I been bequeathing my time to these past five weeks?
NOTHING. Absolutely mother-fucking NOTHING. I have been so utterly bored I think I died a few times and just forgot. Ian's family coulndn't get him plane tickets to New Mexico and he didn't want to drive the whole way there, so we are stuck here until Wednesday. Yes, that's right folks, Wednesday is my last day here. Leaving that morning.

Tuesday, however, is my birthday! I am leaving the teens and entering that promiscuous, raucous stage called the twenties. The following day is Best Friend Dette's 21st I believe and OH how exciting! Hopefully we will get together tomorrow, yes?

Nov. 19th, 2006

(no subject)

Stuck on a small, blue planet in a long-forgotten galaxy is the human race.

This statement reeks the sentiments of Douglas Adams and his foregoers.

Yet the more I think about it, the more the nightmare of a desolate, meaningless universe surrounds me:

Those humans, those apes with their silly religion and their silly emotion and technology and advancement and don't they see? Don't they see that they are only going backwards? The more time they spend sitting there thinking.. thinking about how to make money, or what life means, or why they're there.. the more time they waste living.

Organisms live, eat their food, process their energy, make chemical reactions and then die when they can't process any more. You would think the inevitability of death would stop them in their tracks but no. They insist that there is more - that they are more - than what they see around them. It is unfortunate they are at the top of the food chain, when there are so many prettier animals that are dying out.

It's funny, thinking of those silly humans as on the top. They have only used tools for ten or so millenia... developing from rock and stick to computer and nuclear weapon in that small time. But the further away they get from their primal instincts the more they seem, stupidly, confused about the meaning of life.

They are the only ones that gave life meaning; before that no one cared. The monkeys didn't care, the birds didn't care, the whales didn't care; but the apes had to go and spoil all of that by thinking too much. Now they go and destroy everyone else's habitats with their agriculture, take away everyone else's food with their capitalism, then go and apologize for it all with their stupid "humanitarianism."

What silly creatures. If they could only see the vastness and infinite nature of the universe in which they live, they would realize that their very existence is so random, so by-chance, so unlikely, that it might as well be said that they don't exist at all.

And I'm sure the prettier animals of this small blue planet would be just fine with that.

Oct. 29th, 2006

(no subject)

I... uh... have been really busy. So.. yeah.

I went to New York last weekend, and was so busy that I had little time to go sight seeing. Upsetting.

However I did FINALLY meet Aimee, my long-standing internet friend of five years, for the first time. She is so AMAZINGLY AWESOME. We walked through China Town and had dinner in Little Italy. Much fun.

I plan to see her over winter break, hopefully during the week of my birthday, to further explore New York.

I am also in the process of changing my study abroad plans around: instead of going to Japan this summer, I might just do it next year, during spring semester, IF I get into Oxford for Fall semester. If I don't get into Oxford and I DO get the china scholarship, I will go to China. But Oxford comes before China, even if China is a whole year, everything free. >< God that is a hard decision to make.

But I cannot pass something like Oxford up.

Anyway, I will be home on the 22nd or so for thanksgiving. I have a huge paper to write, so I don't konw how much time I will have to hang out, but we'll see.

Sayonara, and gott ist tot (phrase of day).

Oct. 18th, 2006

(no subject)

TOMORROW I WILL BE HERE:



AND HERE:



or at least outside the building where it is filmed.

SO EXCITED

Oct. 17th, 2006

A Social Commentary on Life, the Universe, and Everything Else Fundamentally Wrong With This Place

Can't complain.

Oct. 14th, 2006

in brief

Here are some notes on how life is going right now:

1. I was sick for the past few days.
2. I am not coming home again til thanksgiving break, and should be home on november 21st or so.
3. I am going to New York City this weekend, in which I will attend the CMUNNY, Columbia University's Model United Nations conference. I will see Aimee for the first time, a girl I've known for five years on the internet, and I will also visit the COLBERT REPORT STUDIOS if I get a chance (so fucking excited).
4. For said conference I am Chief Mangosuthu Buthelezi, president of the Inkatha Freedom Party, the zulu political party in South Africa. We will be doing a historical re-enactment of the Convention for a Democratic South Africa, or CODESA. My party includes terrorist activities. I have special priviledges during conference: I am allowed to sit in, walk out, halt proceedings, sabotage, and ASSASSINATE. SO FUCKING EXCITED.
5. I am going to Japan this summer.
6. I saw the grudge 2 yesterday and it sucked beyond all belief.
7. I hate little teenage sluts.
8. I wen to Tower Records for the first time yesterday and it's HUGE. I bought the Clarks "let it go" and Camille's "le fil" (a french singer I listen to).
9. My first Public Interest event is coming up in two weeks: "do we have privacy? the government and wire tapping." It sucks though because only one person rsvp'd out of our guest speakers, and only five people rsvp'd out of students, including me and julie. As chair I officially say that sucks ass.
10. I have virtually no money left. Can't pay back loan now. Freaking out.
11. I can say bye bye to a 4.0 this semester thanks to fucking science.
12. I will also be staying in dc for three days three weeks from now for yet another conference at Johns Hopkins green frog. I am the United States in the World Health Org.
14. I got a charlie horse two nights ago and it hurt worse than anything I have ever experienced. It was so bad you could SEE this huge bump under my skin on my calf AND it was becoming dark blue. It's still sore. This makes me seriously want to change my eating and exercising habits. =\
15. I found out that Kant is also my hero.

That's about it. Now back to berating the African National Congress in my position paper.

LONG LIVE KWAZULU

Oct. 10th, 2006

(no subject)

Went home. Saw family. Visited with Chelsea. Did homework. Saw puppy. No new pictures.


Found out that Voltaire is my hero

Oct. 4th, 2006

(no subject)

It is 5:38 in the morning and I am AWAKE.

Not only am I AWAKE, I am going to THE GYM.

Anna, you say, what is wrong with you?

I'm really fat. That's what's wrong. Problem is, I know nothing I do will change it no matter how hard I try :(

Sep. 30th, 2006

MAG is a LAG

I am involved as a sophomore representative in the scholars program known as MAG. MAG, or Mentor Assessment Group, is a body that acts as a resource and authority for mentors and mentees within the scholars program. Well, the program just started a few years ago and MAG is having a lot of problems with sophomores this year. It's making a lot of work for me somehow, and that makes me angry, so I'm going to bitch about it.

bitch bitch bitch

I got sick this weekend with fever and such, but that didn't stop me from going to the mall with Ian. We walked into this restaurant called Todai, and when we sat down we realized we had just entered heaven. Todai is this "authentic" japanese buffet. Think about this. JAPANESE BUFFET. There were dozens of kinds of sushi, traditional entrees like tempura and teriyaki chicken, and a dessert section that was HUGE. The whole thing was phenomenal. Then we got the bill.

I knew it was too good to be true. $56 for two of us. And that's with drinking WATER. But oh well... I think we'll reserve Todai for birthdays and anniversary..

Sep. 24th, 2006

omgeee













Zoidberg is my hero.

(no subject)

Thank you all for your sympathies. I was feeling better, but right now, I have to worry about something ten times more important.

Chelsea-
I'm not very good at writing sympathetic tokens of affection or that such, but I will try. I believe that the most successful combatant against serious situations is to apply the equation of irony plus humor, which yields an outcome of "who cares! Let's laugh." So here is my message to you.

Laugh.

Laugh at me. Laugh at me being short. Laugh at that fat guy jogging down the street. Laugh at your own face. Laugh at your sister's face. Laugh at the cats. Take notice of all the happenings around you; all the things unconnected to you and your anatomical circumstances and make fun of them. Patronize a chair. Hump a couch. Tell Greg he smells like foot.

Just do it, because in the end (which is FAR FAR away for all of us), you will have been the only factor in deciding how good or memorable or miserable things have turned out for you.

And of course, if you need someone to help you make sense of it all, and then turn it all into nonsense, I'm here :) because I am pretty worthless at making things meaningful, romantic, or emotional.

Just don't forget that sure, situations exist and you are or will eventually have to deal with them, but they come and go. It is the memory of them that you keep, so make that a good one, no matter how intolerable it is.

So happy late birthday, mommy. I would have brought you ice cream cake or the like except for the fact that I left the day before AND I'm a worthless friend. But your gift will come. Oh yes, it will come.

Just wait til Thanksgiving.

And YOU, Dette of all Dettes, For your birthday we shall party. And oh what a party it will be.

And Christmas is coming and New Years is coming!

And Halloween is almost on the calendar as soon as I turn the page but I don't want to because I like the current picture of TienAnMen Square and October is Kent State Riot. Nyeh.

I am Ghengis Khan. MINE THAT FUCKIN' GOLD SQUARE, WORKER BITCH.

<3 Civ IV

Sep. 19th, 2006

(no subject)





My cat died today.

She was less than a year old.

Sep. 15th, 2006

The Ignorance of Minds

Uhhhh.......

Yes, true ignorance. I do not yet know how to use livejournal. How do I make friends? I managed to do it for one but I can't find the others. Oh well.

Due to an inconsistent combination of circumstances, I am coming home this weekend. If anyone yet reads this and will be home on SATURDAY only, preferrably in the evening, I'm free.

I guess I should talk about stuff in life. Well, here at Mason we call ourselves the "Nation." I can't decide if this is fitting or not. "Mason Nation." As opposed to a state (country state not US state), a nation is a group of people who share a number of characteristics, ie, the Steeler Nation, the Shawnee Nation, the Diabetes Nation...

A nation also has some sort of coherence in its respective citizens' support for a certain ideal or number of ideals/ideas. Mason, as a nation, certainly has these things. We all share the characteristic of being students, and most of us are even like minded in that we share the ideal that being differently-minded is okay. If that makes sense.

But there is a cohesion problem within our "citizens," if you will.

We are diverse. Ranked number two in the nation for it. And yet, we are not unified. Chinese hang out with Chinese, Muslims walk with Muslims, Persians only talk to Persians. It's not as final as that, but I am horribly generalizing.

I just don't see enough unity in our people to call ourselves a "nation." It has been bothering me recently because I see so many people starting clubs or joining clubs for a cause but they're so segregated. Indian Students' Association does amazing things, but it's only Indians. The gospel choir is all black, and I was going to join but I was just too scared to be the minority. How sad is that? Amnesty International is all white, just by circumstance, but so many great people miss out because they judge Amnesty based on this fact.

There is a workshop for school organizations called NCBI. I don't know what it stands for, but I attended for Scholars. Basically, they sit there and tell you to assess all the different identities you have (white, atheist, short, etc for me) and then explain to the group how you feel you were offended by someone because of these identities or if you offended someone because of other identities. Honestly, it's five hours of you sitting there labeling YOURSELF instead of just being an individual. I was the atheist of the group.

This, I think, personifies the real problem. We as human beings feel a need to belong, and we satisfy this need by creating labels under which we can conform, instead of being an individual: a conglomeration of those labels into one unique person.

I am not ONLY an atheist. I am short, I am smart (not really) I am studious and I am selfish. Those are only SOME parts of me and I don't go walking around with only white, short atheists because I realize that each person is an individual and should only be considered as such.

Screw diversity. It forces labels to be written on every forehead. Erase the concept of diversity. I know that these college students feel COMFORTABLE with like-oriented people, I understand that.

But it isn't until we can ignore the fact that she's tall, I'm Muslim, you're black and he's autistic that we can truly become a united "nation."

Not just at Mason, but everywhere.

And now I will take a nap.

Sep. 13th, 2006

You win.

I miss you guys too much. I'm here.


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